Legion of 3 Worlds: When Brainiac 5s Fume
by JudeDeluca
Summary: The Brainiacs have gotten into an argument. An agrument about one of the most important things a Brainiac has. Who has the hottest girlfriend? The answer will amaze you. For mudling.


Disclaimer: I do not own Legion.

Brainy/Clark fans, eat your hearts out. For mudling, happy belated birthday.

* * *

Mysa Nal, the White Witch was walking down the HQ Hall to Brainiac 5's lab. She was about to knock on the door when a voice stopped her.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Said Ayla Ranzz, Lightning Lass, walking up behind her.

"Huh?" Mysa asked.

"That's been closed all day."

"But I need to talk to Brainy about something." Mysa said, eyeing the door.

"Which one? All three of them have been in there, all day." Ayla informed her.

"What do you think they're doing?" Mysa asked.

"Arguing."

"About what?"

"I don't know, but I've got a pretty good feeling our heads would explode if we tried to figure it out."

"Eww."

And inside said lab…

"Your logic is flawed!" Said the Querl of New Earth.

The three Querl Doxs, a.k.a Brainiac 5, were arguing about something. And it looked as if the argument was going nowhere.

"My logic?! Your findings are inconclusive at best!" 3B Querl yelled.

"You're both wrong!" 247 Querl told them.

Between the three of them, New Earth Querl was the oldest, and had longer hair. 247 Brainy was the youngest, and had the Brainiac symbol on his forehead. 3B Brainy was clean shaven and taller than 247 Brainy. All had green skin, blond hair, and wore purple.

"Why don't you just admit you made a mistake, grandpa? After all, old age can have bad affects on a person's mind." 3B Querl mocked him.

"What was that?! At least I don't obsess over a dead girl!" NE Querl yelled.

"She's not dead!"

"Alright fine, look at this! You tell me that Kara Zor-El is not the pinnacle of perfection in the female body."

NE Brainy held up a holographic centerfold of Kara Zor-El, Supergirl.

"You're chasing jailbait you perverted old fart!" 3B Brainy yelled.

"I am not! She's 24 in this picture. Just look at those curves! Perfect!" NE Querl shoved the picture in their faces.

"She's nothing compared to Andromeda!" 247 Brainy yelled, holding up a holo of a skimpily-dressed Laurel Gand.

"Oh please, we all now Laurel Gand is just a Kara Zor-El knockoff! You can't beat the original." NE Querl told him.

"What original? And who are you calling a knock-off! Her hair and costume are a million times better than Supergirl's ever could." 247 Brainy shouted as he protected Andromeda.

"You're comparing the last daughter of Krypton to a racist? Ha!" NE Querl laughed.

"I dare you to say that to my face!" 247 Querl ordered.

"He can't. His hair's in the way." 3B Brainy snickered. "Would they both of you shut up to look at this!"

3B Querl held up a holo of his love and wife, Nura Nal, Dream Girl.

"Oh enough about your Nura Nal. The woman died, get over it." NE Querl told him.

"Died and came back thanks to MY 12th Level Intellect." 3B Querl flaunted. "Just look at her! Isn't she just adorable?" He said, blushing.

"For a dead girl." NE Querl muttered.

"You say that one more time and I'm going to-"

"Going to what?" NE asked sharply.

"Kick your green ass!" 3B shouted.

"Resorting to violence is a tendency for 9th Level Intellects, isn't it?" NE nonchalantly asked while examining his nails.

"Enough! I have the proof the will end this useless chattering!" 247 shouted loud enough to shake the room.

The two Querls stared at their younger counterpart.

"What?" They both sharply asked.

"Look here and tell me this isn't the most beautiful thing you've ever seen."

247 held up another holographic centerfold. He stood there, proud, as the other two gapped at it. Their eyes slowly looked up from the picture to him.

"Um, Querl…" NE started.

"This is a picture of Invisible Kid wearing a thong." 3B informed him. 247's face turned bright red.

"And the thong just came off." NE informed them.

247 turned the holo around to face him. It was indeed 247 Lyle Norg, now no longer wearing a thong. Lyle winked.

"Gah! I got my pictures mixed up! Still, my point remains valid." 247 informed them.


End file.
